Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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