I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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