My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
