he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
