I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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