Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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