Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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