I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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