So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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