I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
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