Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
