you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
