It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
