That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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