I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
