I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
