You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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