I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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