Who wears a wallet chain?!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just found puke in my bra..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
