Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
