dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
