Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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