Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
