yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
