you're like a bully in the Christmas story
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
