at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
NoShamevember. You game?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
