At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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