I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I look better un-naked...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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