okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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