I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
