perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeÂ
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
That was before I lit my hair on fire
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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