I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
