Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
