on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
we're so committed to being not committed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
