I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
