how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
