Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
