Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
