He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
