I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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