just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
