just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
