Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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