Just cropdusted the office
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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