im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
