doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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