Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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