didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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