You really coming over, don't trick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize