As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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