like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize