Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
