i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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