at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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