Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
