STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
